Genders of Common Things

Please Note: I am not the author of this! If you are the original author, please email me!

ZIPLOC BAGS -
male, because they hold everything in,
but you can always see right through them.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE -
male, because even though it appears
useful for a wide variety of work, it
spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS -
female, because they always go
to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE -
male, because it is usually unpolished,
with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER -
female, because once turned off,
it takes a while to warm up.

TIRE -
male, because it goes bald
and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON -
male, because to get it to go anywhere
you have to light a fire under it...
and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES -
female, because they are
soft and squeezable and retain water

WEB PAGE -
female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY -
male, because it uses the same
old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS -
female, because over time,
the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER -
male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL -
female... Ha! You thought I'd say male.
But consider, it gives men pleasure,
he'd be lost without it, and while
he doesn't always know the right
buttons to push, he keeps trying.